Can’t Stand Up

Sitting in class, just another day
Taking notes, trying to play it cool
Then Miss Johnson waves her hand my way
"Time to present, take your tool-" uh, "rule"
My body picked the worst of times
To have a personal uprising
All I can think as panic climbs
Is this moment's bad timing

My report's ready, that's not the thing
But there's a situation down below
The classroom clock continues to ring
As my face starts to glow

I can't stand up right now
No, I can't stand up right now
Got a problem that won't go down
So I can't stand up right now

"Jack?" she calls (Jack? Jack? Jack?)
"Is everything okay?" (No way)
My pencil drops, I lean way back
"Just need a minute, if I may"
Think baseball, grandma, anything
My mind's racing round and round
The whole class starting to sing
"Jack's turn, Jack's turn" (sit back down!)

My knees are weak, my palms are wet
This presentation's gotta wait
'Cause if I stand, I'll just regret
What I cannot navigate

I can't stand up right now
No, I can't stand up right now
Got a problem that won't go down
So I can't stand up right now

(Think unsexy thoughts)
(Think unsexy thoughts)
Please bell ring
Please bell ring
Save me from this thing
That won't go away

I can't stand up right now
No, I can't stand up right now
Got a problem that won't go down
So I can't stand up right now
(I really can't stand up)