FILE 015: "Smooth Yacht Rock Saga"
Genre: Melancholy Soft Rock (Yacht)
Band: Silk & Scrimshaw
Date of Release: Q4 2022
Certification: $2 \times$ Platinum (Worldwide)
The Genius: Humidity Compressor
Snarfus determined that the perfect "soft" sound required absolute control over atmospheric pressure. For the signature electric piano track, he housed the vintage Rhodes Mark I in a custom, airtight box. The air inside was regulated to $90\%$ humidity using a small vaporizer and a high-end humidifier, then compressed with a bicycle pump. The resulting moisture-heavy air molecules caused a minute, velvety dampening of the higher frequencies, producing a sound described by critics as **"the sonic equivalent of walking on a dew-soaked $1,000\text{-thread}$ count silk rug."**
The Moron: The Mandatory Captain's Hat
Despite recording in a windowless studio in Omaha, Snarfus refused to address anyone in the band unless they were wearing a full captain's uniform. He spent $20,000$ of the production budget on $12$ different, bespoke naval caps. If a band member removed their hat for even a second, Snarfus would respond to their technical questions by loudly whistling "Anchors Aweigh" for $15$ minutes straight. This caused immense psychological strain but ensured the entire band maintained a consistent, slightly sweaty, professional air of nautical authority.