FILE 017: "Black Metal Blunder"
Genre: Melodic Post-Black Metal
Band: Cryptic Agony (Disbanded)
Date of Release: Q4 2023
Certification: Cult Classic (Norway)
The Genius: The Frozen-Tundra Reverb
Snarfus rejected all digital reverb plugins as "inauthentic and weak." He insisted on capturing a true sense of vast, arctic emptiness. His solution: routing the entire guitar track's dry signal out of the studio, across $1,000\text{ft}$ of cable, and into a PA system placed in a **walk-in meat freezer** at a local butcher shop. He then mic’d the freezer's interior to capture the natural metallic echo. The result was a chilling, cavernous reverb that industry engineers still cannot replicate, solidifying the band's status.
The Moron: The Church Picnic Riot
Convinced that "true darkness requires public disruption," Snarfus decided the band's atmospheric album art needed to be shot during a highly visible community event. He convinced the lead guitarist to appear, fully corpse-painted and carrying a flaming pitchfork, during a peaceful **Sunday church picnic**. The ensuing panic and police intervention landed the band on every local news broadcast, generating millions of free impressions, but also costing the band $12,000$ in legal fees and property damage.