FILE 018: "The Folk Fiasco"
Genre: Appalachian Doom Folk
Band: The Lonesome Haters
Date of Release: Q1 2024
Certification: Platinum (US/CA)
The Genius: Brake Cable Heartbreak
Determined to find an "authentic, post-industrial mountain sound," Snarfus banned all acoustic instruments. He replaced the banjo and fiddle with custom-tuned, high-tension **bicycle brake cables** strung across salvaged lumber. He played them with a 9V battery as a slide. The resulting microtonal, discordant tones produced an overwhelming sense of existential dread and rural heartbreak that spoke to a generation raised on Spotify playlists and crippling anxiety. The album topped the folk charts for 20 straight weeks.
The Moron: The Fencepost Feud
During the mandated outdoor press photo shoot, Snarfus suddenly became enraged. He fixed his gaze upon a weathered wooden fencepost on the perimeter of the farm and began screaming obscenities at it. He was convinced the post was the band's previous, estranged manager. The 45-minute tirade ended only when he urinated on the base of the post "to formally terminate the contract." The photographers, however, captured the whole thing, and the resulting image became the album cover.